I Believe I Will Wear Purple

My Grandmother, the matriarch of the family, the fashion guru of her circle club, the sovereign leader of any situation in which she found herself, faded away slowly and degradingly in a haze of Alzheimer’s.  Shortly after her death, my sister, sensing my apprehension at the thought of suffering the same fate, sent me a wonderful poem: “When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple” by Jenny Joseph.

In the poem Ms. Joseph  states that when she is old she will wear the color  purple with a mismatched red hat, and she will engage in all sorts of silly activities in order to  “make up for the sobriety of my youth”. She then goes on to say “But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised, when suddenly I am old and start to wear purple!”

This poem was an epiphany for me. I was struck at the irony of the term “sobriety of my youth”. Youth should be synonymous with energy and optimism and fun.  Contrarily, our society puts too much importance on work always taking precedence over fun. We are taught by our parents to complete our chores before we play, finish our homework before we watch television, and of course the dreaded eat our vegetables before we have any pie. 

Shortly before my grandmother was diagnosed she began to talk of traveling and finally enjoying herself. I saw a glimpse of another side of her: A giddy young girl who had completed all her chores and was ready for her reward. She never got the chance to travel. The moderate fortune she had worked all her life to attain did not take her around the world: it paid for six years of nursing home expenses.

Her death came at a crucial point in my life. I was divorced and remarried with a new daughter. My young sons had been raised in daycare while their father, my ex-husband, and I had pursued our careers. The poem caused me to reevaluate my priorities. I realized I needed to have some fun. More importantly, my children needed me to be a little more fun.

Through intentional and unintentional circumstances I transformed from an urban career woman into a stay-at-home mom in a rural mountain town-our beautiful Floyd. I learned to appreciate each day as its own journey rather than a stepping stone to yet another day of drudgery on the way to reaching some far off destiny.

 Along my new path I rediscovered my children, my husband and myself. It is true that the business of living requires sobriety at times. There are challenges to be faced, lessons to learn and lessons to teach.  On the other hand, there is no reason we cannot enjoy ourselves along the way. I am very happy I did not wait until I grew old before wearing purple: it is a color I have thoroughly enjoyed.